I went to an iPhone Development Workshop the other day — Wednesday, to be precise — to learn about how educational departments might utilize the iPhone, and to see the tools used to develop iPhone applications. It was interesting. I have a write-up in the works* that I'll send to my boss. And I got to skip class.

Subsequently, though, I tweeted my disdain with the so-called "macsturbation" I witnessed. Definition**:

mac·stur·ba·tion

1. overstimulation while using a Macintosh computer as caused by excessive use of Exposé and Spaces, especially during a presentation, lecture, or otherwise organized event.

2. gently stroking an Apple product in an affectionate manner.

3. discussing the latest Apple products with unnecessary fervor with another Apple admirer.

4. actually masturbating over a Macintosh computer.

A quick Google search would indicate that I have not minted this term in general — although I don't think I had ever seen it before I uttered it for the first time to my programming partner last semester; I figured it was too easy a wordplay to be overlooked, however — but I do think I'm the first to use it as described in the first definition (the other three I threw in so the definition wouldn't appear weak — (co)incidentally, these three are all in use on the greater Internet).

The term first came to me as I sat bored in my Data Structures class last semester, watching a fellow student a couple of rows down Cmd-Tabbing, Exposé-ing, Quicksilver-searching, and Space-switching in between the following programs, in the order of how often I anecdotally recall him using: Google, Gmail, Yahoo Stocks, Google Reader, Flash Games, Microsoft Word (to take notes, presumably), Google Calendar, and Eclipse IDE. As an aside, and specifically in retrospect, I'm curious as to why he'd use Yahoo as his source for financial information when he's clearly got at least two feet in Google's camp. Anyway.

I will say, I'm quite impressed that he consistently used this machine-gun approach to laptop use during every seventy-five minute lecture that I can recall, for the entire seventy-five minutes. I never heard him speak one word. He wore a sleeveless shirt under his coat on one of the coldest days of the year. Oh, Computer Science.

But to go back to the iPhone Development seminar, I saw at least ten similarly-minded people who, through the entire two-and-a-half hour workshop, were zipping from blogs to NetNewsWire to Mail to Adium and then back to the blogs, where they'd read a sentence or two, and then jet off to another window.

As I said in my tweet, I'm a Mac-user. I have so many great things to say about my MacBook, and so many exclusive applications I love for my share of computer-based hobbies and jobs, that I'll likely have to write a separate post to pay my libations. I use Exposé to swiftly switch windows, and while Spotlight has its fair share of problems, it takes at most ten keystrokes to find a file or application that isn't already in my Dock. These are the features that I miss most when I use Windows (although there are undoubtedly Windows applications I could use to achieve the same functionality — but it wouldn't be the same).

So why the disdain? I find it ridiculous that this sort of computer use actually makes sense to people — the fact that they're Mac users is likely coincidence, but macsturbation has a ring that personal-computerbation will never have. When I'm developing on my laptop, sure, I flip windows pretty frequently between my text-editor and browser, with a splash of FTP client, MySQL client and Version Control client thrown in as needed. But to focus simultaneously on a lecture, a game, a feed reader, email, and stock prices is ludicrous. Hmph.

* I should note that, at the time of writing the first paragraph, I was sitting in pajamas, killing time by writing until I could hop in the shower. Well, I didn't get back to it until now, after work, and the write-up is done. For the sake of the post, this is probably irrelevant, and I kind of regret making note of it, but here we are.

** I realize that this is technically a poor definition, since it combines verbs and nouns. I guess I can live with myself, so I hope you'll forgive me